Excerpt from Setting Boundaries with inner children.
“I have had many people ask me what I mean when I refer to setting boundaries for my inner children. People who have asked for examples, for how it looks on a practical level to set a boundary with an inner child.”
“So I set a boundary with the critical parent by not buying into the criticism, I set a boundary with my inner child by not building up expectations of some kind of reward, and I work my recovery program by focusing on the half of the glass that is full (my needs that have been met) and being grateful for the gifts I have been given, instead of allowing the disease to focus on fear and scarcity, on the half that is empty (my wants that have not been met.)
The purpose of doing the inner child healing work is to improve the quality of my life today – not to reach a destination or reward.”
“Another aspect of the inner child we need to set boundaries for is the child within us that wants instant gratification. A little child doesn’t have any perspective – doesn’t know what an hour is, or a a day or a month. They are in the moment. And in the moment they feel things REAL BIG! “I have to have that toy right now!” It feels like life or death to them – but 20 minutes later they have forgotten and gone on to something else. We have a child in us that I have heard called the King Baby – “I Want What I Want and I Want it NOW!”
This child we need to set boundaries for – because this young child (3 or 4 or 5 ish) does not understand that eating 15 candy bars will make him sick.”